My mother either voluntarily gave me up at birth, or allowed my father's powerful family to take me from her; either way, the result is that I have always had a feeling of abandonment and as if I don't really belong.
It didn't help that when I did visit my mom as a young child - and later went to live with her as a teenager - that she turned out to be a vicious, abusive, homicidal monster of a mother. At 8 yrs of age I was sent to visit my mom for a weekend. Instead of sending me back home to my father's family - where I had my own bedroom, bathroom, and nanny - my mom in an attempt to spite the family sent me to live with my grandma. My first night at this new home, as I lay squished up beside my great-gran, I could hear my grandma fighting with her husband. He was shouting at the top of his lungs that he didn't want me there. I couldn't stay. I must leave tomorrow morning.
Well, my grandma ran things so I stayed, but I never forgot that I wasn't wanted there. That I didn't belong.